First good thing since the new year is a fabulous FaceTime session with one of my oldest and best-est friend ever. She called me to listen and be empathetic about a personal situation, and I hope I did my best-est friend thing. I think I did, but sometimes, you never know. It’s nice to know where you stand with your friends…gotta communicate that more often this year.
And then of course, there is the fabulousness that is FaceTime. Who invented this marvel of modern communications? If they are wealthy because of it, then it’s well deserved. That’s some kind of genius. I think I love it mostly because it’s free (sort of…with
purchase of an Apple product), and because it’s so easy to use. And the fact that people can talk to each other face to face across miles and oceans and forests and time zones! I can see inside my friend’s home, and she can see mine. She can turn the camera onto her kids performing some sort of puppet show with a paper mask made to resemble Jar Jar Binks.
Note: I wonder what would happen if I were to make my tutoring times available by FaceTime (or such like). I’m sure there are some people out there doing this very thing, possibly more for college or the latter high school years, but still. In all likelihood it exists. Pros? Cons? Leave a comment.
Related to good thing #1 above is good thing #2: 2016 is turning out to be the second wave of All. The. Weddings. In 2009, I went to eleven weddings, plus one that I was invited to but couldn’t attend due to a prior conflict of – you guessed it – another wedding. I’ve got three lined up so far, one of which I’m a bridesmaid for, and it’s only the 11th day of the year.
For some background on my thoughts on weddings, click here. And here. The following will make more sense once you do. But maybe not much more. I just re-read those posts: the first one about what makes for a fun wedding still applies, but that second one is a bit of mystery to me now. I officially have grown so old that I no longer understand my younger self. In other words, I have become my father.
Anyway, one of my friends has changed a lot over the past couple of years due to her wish to be married. Which is a perfectly reasonable thing to wish for, and I’m glad she is the bride-to-be. But I have a feeling it’s going to be one of those friendships where the end of the wedding signals the end of the friendship. Not because of any argument, or drama. But because the season for that friendship has gone its natural course. The last time this happened, I clung on to the friendship for way too long – I probably should have let it go even before they got engaged.
Life lesson of the day: When something sucks up more energy – and creates more negative drama – than it’s worth, it’s time to let it go. Only YOU have the authority to define what something is worth to you. Inversely, you do NOT have the authority to define what something is worth to someone who is NOT you.
Anyway, the good thing was that I would fallen into a pit of pity and mourning for the impending loss of a friend, if not for the distraction of FaceTiming with another friend. It made me realize that seasons will come and go. And so will friends. And that’s all ok. Actually, it might be a good thing. It means I’ve changed too, which gives me comfort that I’m not the one being left behind and abandoned (re: my current, greatest fear).
I’ve decided I’m going to enjoy the lead up to the party, serving all my bridesmaid duties to the best of my abilities, and then letting it all go off into the sunset, beautifully, gently, with dignity and fond memories. Like end-of-life care at a really, really good hospice that serves the best cookies.
And who knows? It might not even happen. We might evolve into an even better friendship, forever and a day. That would be a good thing too.