I’m not the cleanest, tidiest person around by any means BUT some people just need a serious life-skill lesson or two on housekeeping habits. Here are some tips after a full day of removing the last traces of the former occupant of my current rental:
- It’s a good thing to wash your sheets, towels and rugs every so often. When your towels are stiff with grim, take it as a sign that something is amiss. Or, if you are lacking in these homey skills, and decide to just buy more to replace the soiled ones THEN TOSS THE SOILED ONES INSTEAD OF LEAVING THEM LYING AROUND. They end up contaminating the new ones!!
- Throw in a swift kick in these people’s sensitive parts about the physical, mental, and psychological downsides of pack-ratting too, please.
- Rugs around the toilet bowl have got to be the most disgusting thing ever. No, I take it back: toilet seat covers have got to be the most disgusting thing ever. I would take the look of clean, shiny porcelain over matted, pink-but-is-now-grey-rags with horrible crumbly bits of backing falling off.
- If your headboard leaves a dark outline of where it once was, THEN YOU SHOULD GET RID OF IT, NOT keep it in the garage to ‘save for later.’
- How on earth do you NOT notice that mysterious, too fragrant in a bad way, smell of SOMETHING ROTTING IN YOUR SHOWER DRAIN??!! Cleaning out that thing was like digging through a swamp monster’s pit. A very hairy swamp monster with some sort of mud-like substance caked everywhere.
- Pale pink, be-flowered items should not be your sole decorating go-to style after the age of 9.
- Empty and wipe out your drawers every so often. PLEASE. I beg you.
- When your take-out wooden chopsticks, plastic utensils, and drinking straws – both wrapped and unwrapped – end up filling an entire, large kitchen drawer. It is time for an intervention.
- Also: THROW AWAY THOSE USED UNWRAPPED STRAWS!!!!!
Uhhg. I’m not nearly finished yet, and I feel like I need a thousand showers to get my own self clean again, after all of that. I look forward to news on closing more and more. Yet, it still hasn’t fully sunk in yet that this is happening. Thankful, yes. But currently, ‘grossed out’ and ‘disgusted’ are at the top of the emotions I’m feeling right now.