I very much miss being a kid. The carefree-ness of it all is comforting to me. Now, I have many cares to think about:
– Saving for retirement. Will I have enough to last?
– Taking care of my parents. They are getting old.
– Advancing in my career. What shall I do next?
– Relationships, dating, & marriage. Will I grow old as a lonely spinster?
– Turning a place to live into a home. When to buy? When to rent? When to move?
– Bills, bills, bills.
– Chores, chores, chores.
– Taxes, taxes, taxes.
– Car maintenance.
And of course, the general feeling of not achieving any of my dreams and goals from when I was younger, or yesterday. The feeling of time passing ever quicker without much to show for it. Being suspicious that I’m living life from crisis to crisis instead of savoring the present place I’m in, the people I’m with, and that “this is water,” as David Foster Wallace once said.
But I have much to be thankful for.
– Wonderful colleagues who are fun, and like-minded, and refreshingly human.
– Wonderful church friends who are inclusive, and kind, and warm.
– Wonderful cousins who are hilarious over WhatsApp.
– Wonderful brother who is finally letting me in a little.
– Wonderful parents who are a great example for me.
– Wonderful friends who, although are far-flung now, are the type of people where we can pick up where we left off and still acknowledge that time has changed us and we have grown.
Yes, a wonderful life overall. I am too anxious.